When in Doubt, Take the Next Small Step I was never a big fan of setting goals. To me it was a way to measure my failures. If I never reached them, it wouldn't matter because I never made them! What a surprise it was that I'd stayed in the same exact spot for so many years without moving forward an inch. Once I figured out that goals were my ticket to something, anything... everything else, they became a part of my regular routine. My problem with goals is I would have all these grand ideas, (I never do anything small!) and then would have no idea how to accomplish them. So in my mind, I failed right out of the gate. And let's not forget the mentality I had, of needing it RIGHT NOW!! So, indeed, I was setting myself up for failure. These grand and truly wonderful plans I had, never made it off the paper because I wasn't patient enough to take the smaller steps it took to make them happen. I have since learned that a large goal is simply made up of many, many smaller goals or steps. Sometimes we don't know how we are going to get to where we are going, but we have to get started to find out. Such is life. "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr. You may not know where you are going to end up, but you have to take that first step in order to find out. God is pretty clever that way. He let's you see the big picture (that goal of where you want to go or what you want to be or just what you want next) but He wants you to rely on Him for the smaller steps of the journey along the way. He only lights your path as far as you can see, so we are never in complete darkness, because by the time you've taken that "last" step, the next one is presented to you. It's like looking down an avenue of streetlights. Each one illuminating their own little circle, but you can only see so far ahead of you. You must start walking in the circles of light to see where the street takes you. Imagine you're in one of those motion sensor tunnels, like in a James Bond movie. As you're walking down a completely dark and scary hallway, the sensor picks up your presence, and it lights a few more steps for you. As the light comes on and the immediate surroundings are illuminated, they are not quite as scary. We are not meant to know every single step of the journey. It is a learning process. Work ahead as far as you can and then have faith that when you get there, the next instructions will be there waiting. It actually all happens so smoothly that you never realize you were ever in the dark at all. When you look back at all of your steps, they were placed in just the right order. You learned all the things you needed to know to get to the next step. Eventually, as you look back, your starting steps are all but a memory. That first building you came out of into the darkness, was actually your first point of light. And when those times come that you stumble or fall, get back up, brush yourself off and take that next step. The first steps are always the scariest. I have a friend that always told me that God IS there and He WILL steer the boat, but you have to get it out to sea first. He can do nothing with it still tied to the dock. This taught me that I can't wait for things to get "just right" or sometimes all the ducks refuse to get in a row until you wrangle the first couple. But trust. Have faith. Untie the boat and make those first few strokes to get it out into open water. See all the wonderful things He can do if you let Him light your path. Make those goals. Break them down and see how many steps you can work on until you reach the edge of the light. And then, take one more step and watch the light in the darkness stretch out before you. Get up when you stumble. And when in doubt, just take the next small step and see what happens! Your word is the lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 What new goals are you tackling? How have you overcome your fears to "take the next step"? What other advice can you give to those who might be stuck?
0 Comments
My Latest Passion I love to dance. LOVE to dance. If my feet are touching the floor and there is music in the air, I'm usually wiggling around in some way. I used to get my fill of dance by teaching ballet and jazz and then ballroom or doing the choreography for summer camps or shows, but my life has changed so drastically over the last few years that I have not been able to partake in these old stand-bys. It seemed that nightclubs were my only option to shake my groove thing, but that takes you late into the night and being around all that smoke is no buenos. And people frown at you when you want to go all the time. (What? The band is REALLY good! I need to dance!) Couldn't join a Ballroom Club because my schedule changes every week and you usually need a partner. But oh! How I love those Latin rhythms! I love to salsa and cha cha and rhumba ... sigh. What's a dancer to do? I have discovered Zumba!! I know it's been around for a while and I have heard of it... I was always curious... I assumed it was more of an exercise routine, like Jazzercise. Uh, not interested.... But then I saw an infomercial. (I know. Don't judge me!!) They looked like they were having SO much fun!! And I certainly wouldn't object to my abs looking like theirs. I ordered. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!! I LOVE ZUMBA!!! I Zumba every day. Sometimes I Zumba twice a day! I get to get my Latin groove on, get some exercise and fulfill my need to dance. Granted, it is no ballet or ballroom, but it does require the same kind of discipline! I am loving the challenges it is giving me! I am so excited!! Whoops.... In the midst of my raving, I realized that you have come to expect some kind of advice or encouragement from the blog posts and this one just kind of turned out to be a personal fun one for me... but let me think... how can I turn this into a lesson? We can go the exercise is good for you route...nah. I'm going to go with the "Add Four New Positive Habits A Year" route (that's straight from the Total Truth Workshop!) AND the ever popular, Do What You Love theme. It is good to always continue to expand your mind (and body) to new techniques and applications that will help you consistently build on what you already know. So by adding four new habits a year, hopefully you're replacing bad ones and you are in a constant state of improvement. Zumba is definitely something new for me. It takes what I already knew about Latin dancing and kicks it up a notch. Good for my body. Good for my brain and it really is true what they say about exercise, I am more energetic and focused and motivated! (This completes my four quota for this year too!) And- Doing what you love makes you happy and when you're happy you are more likely to share that joy with others WHICH in turn, brings it back to you. Follow your heart, do what you love and share your happiness with others. *contented sigh* I think that about sums it up! Have a great week everyone! What's that? A little calypso drum? I think yes!! We all have things in life that we want. We think, "Oh, if I can just get that one thing, then I'll be happy!" If I could just lose 50 pounds, buy that house, run that race, see the Mayan ruins, quit smoking... The list is never ending. And it should be. Because if you are not constantly striving for something, you're life will become stagnant. And who wants that? There is a difference between contentedness and stagnant. Content is being satisfied with your life and how it is progressing. Being happy in the still moments. Stagnant is when you have given up on your dreams and are just making your way from day to day doing the necessary things that have to be done to survive. Wishing that things could be different but knowing that they won't. See? Doesn't that sound boring and depressing? We don't want that. So, on that note, what are you striving for today? And what are the things you are doing to get there? I am proud of you for reaching. Happiness is a moving target. Don't wait to reach those BIG items to enjoy happiness. The truth is, the things that made us happy before might not make us happy now. Don't wait, putting all your happiness in one basket so that if you never lose that fifty pounds or buy that house you will feel like a failure or feel you don't deserve to be happy. Stop and smell the daffodils! There is happiness to be found all around us. Don't wait! It will make your journey toward your bigger goals so much better and you'll be able to keep rolling through those rough spots a little easier when you focus on the big picture. Celebrate as you go. I always encourage people to have several goals. Long term, short term and daily goals. Mix it up! Add to your list! Find new things that excite you and make you want to go after them. Remove the ones that when you look at them you're like, "What was I thinking?" Check your goal list often and make sure you are still working toward happiness. Perhaps you have been working on something so long and you've forgotten why you're pursuing it. Or maybe you have reached your goal and it no longer fulfills you. Find your happiness. Don't just sit on the couch and wish for it. Cliff Notes: When you reach your goals, even the small ones, celebrate. And while you're on the road to reaching said goals, find happiness along the way. Life is more than the destination. It's about all the little stops along the way too. I've always known I was meant to be in an instructional role of some sort. I have always been the one people come to with their problems. My glass is always half full when I look into someone else's future. I even had a tutoring "school" on the front porch of my house when I was a kid to help out the other kids on the block with their school work. But I didn't know at what capacity I was meant to be an educator and to whom. And writing? I've been writing stories forever! But I didn't want to go to college to BE a journalist. I didn't want to go to college to BE a teacher. I didn't want to go to college to BE a psychologist. I didn't want to go to college to BE an anything! "It takes too long!" is the mantra I belonged to. I wanted life to begin right here and now. I have eventually reached the teaching capacity I was meant to achieve and I am happier now than I have ever been. And I am a published author! Something I never took the time to do before and my self-confidence lead me to believe that it could never happen. And looking back, I was bucking my destination the entire time. The beauty of it is, God works all things out for the good. So all of my side roads, all of my smaller chunks of education, all of my experiences, built up and have led me right back to where He wanted me to be in the first place. My calling. My calling is to educate and coach, to help others see their potential, to lead by love and... to write. Which, I had apparently been doing all along, I just didn't know what to call it and I SURE didn't get paid for it! I don't regret my decisions (well, most of them) because they have made me who I am today and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I think I would have gotten into less trouble if I went the 4-8 year college route, but then I think- it would have just been different trouble. And here I am, almost...uh, well, older, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, but taking the longest route ever to get here!! Granted, it makes me unique in the experiences I have to share, but if I'd have known how satisfying my life could have been twenty-something years ago, maybe, just maybe, I could have started it sooner. My point in all of this, is that it's never too late to do what you want to be doing. I had to figure out what I wanted to be doing, and that was part of my problem but so often I hear, "I can't go back to school!" "I can't find a new career!" "I can't buy a house." You're busy with life. I get it. But you only get one. Shouldn't it be the best it can be? And I'm not saying to turn your world upside down to get to the life you want, but at least take a step. ONE step. And then maybe you'll be ready for another one. And don't let money get in your way! There are many things you could be doing BEFORE it gets to the money part, even if one of those things means tucking away a dollar here and a dollar there so when the money part DOES come up, you'll be ready. You're not going to be a doctor over night. You're not going to be an all-star pitcher over night. You're not going to be the number one real estate agent over night. You're not suddenly going to be able to buy that new Hog over night. All of those things happen because of one step. That pitcher, probably threw that ball thousands of times before someone caught a glimpse of that talent. That doctor has probably been reading and talking with people in the field long before she signed up for school. But suddenly, you look back and one step after another, you've climbed a mountain. You got that degree. You saved up for that vacation. And when you look back on your life you'll be able to say "I did," instead of, "I wish I had." Take the one step. You never know where that new path will lead you. Sometimes even to places you would have never suspected. Empty Nest It's back to school season and this time of year always makes me a little melancholy as another summer quietly comes to an end. I am "momma" to about 15-20 young adults not including the ones that I paid taxes on, and this time of year when I send them back off to school or watch them take on the next level of adulthood or (worse!) stop to look at how much they have all grown, it is a moment that is bittersweet. Some have been a part of my life since my kids were small, others have only joined the family, but seem to fall right into place and still others take a side road for only a few visits and are gone again, but have still known the love of this momma and unique collection of family. I am so proud at how far they have come in their lives and when I say that I love them all, I truly and honestly feel down to my very heart their accomplishments and their sorrows. My little house is empty now and has been for a couple years, but this time of year always brings back that initial... sadness. And when they do come back in increments of a few or a whole party and they speak their foreign languages of Magic, Xbox, Robot Chicken and other nerd-isms, it fills my heart with so much joy. I don't care that they keep me up all night long with their talking and laughing, singing and wrestling, I just love that they are there. Nothing makes me happier than when I wake up and see my living room sprawling with bodies that slept where they fell. I am honored that they still find happiness coming to my home and doing their thing. They could easily go any where else, but that they choose to come to Momma's house, makes me extremely happy. As they grow and don't heed the council of Momma, it makes me so sad to hear of some of the choices that they make. We all have to have our turn to find out which ways are right and which ways are wrong and let me tell you how I was a person who was going to do what I wanted regardless of all the warnings. And now I find myself in my elders shoes. I want to protect them and guard them so that they never know sadness or fear, prejudices ... or cancer.... But then I have to remind myself that my greatest challenges turned into my greatest lessons. I am who I am today because of, or in spite of the mistakes I made. My heart has been broken, I have been so poor I had to live on popcorn and Pepsi, I have been lost in darkness and found my way back to the light. I am not perfect- I should be- but I still make mistakes. And my kids need to be "allowed" do it too. And now, knowing what I do, I have to let them. I am here if they ever want to talk or need advice or a meal or a bed to sleep in, but I have to let them grow. So, as you send your "babies" off to school, and you can feel them slowly slipping from your grasp, know that this is the way things are supposed to be. They are only ours for a moment. And in that moment, we do the best we can to teach them and love them and give them a strong foundation to stand on. So when they are ready to take that leap, they do so knowing that no matter how warm and cozy and safe that nest is, they were born to fly. And we, have to let them go. This is essentially a script to offer you (and me) comfort. Take comfort in the fact that because of that strong foundation and love and coziness, they will be back and cleaning out your refrigerator in no time! The Mating Habits of Bees One of the most enjoyable parts of having to cut hair for a living is the interesting conversations on a variety of subjects! Today's subject: Bees! Bees are apparently fascinating little creatures that one might not really pay attention to unless you develop a passion for them, as this client did. Somehow, we got to talking about their mating rituals and how the women are the dominant sex. So much so, that when the men cease to be useful, they are literally- literally- pushed from the hive! The men's only job is to mate. So they all go and "hang out" in a particular place and wait for the females to come by and choose them. And once the female has... uh... finished with him, she rips his heart out to kill him. Quick and over. No mixed messages there. What a happy life! He was a little taken back by my opinion. But think about it, men. What man wouldn't love to die just after sex? If you gotta go, might as well die happy, right? And sure, maybe their life is short, but it's a happy one. Eat, scope for chicks, mate then die. I would think it would be every male species dream! No responsibilities BUT mating. No raising larva, no bringing home the honey, just mating. Sounds not completely unlike their human counterparts. They too go to places to troll for women and they think their only job is to mate... interesting. I mention the above tongue and cheek of course, but it does make me wonder at God's miracles. He takes the time to structure the lives of the tiniest of creatures. And as God went on to experiment with other critters of varying complexities, He made their mating rituals unique as well. From the killing Queen Bee to the mate-for-life Cardinals. Then... He made humans who run the gamut of every mating style in between. (Except that the killing part is no longer legal...) Some couples stay together for life. Some only stay together to procreate. Some have no other commitment other than mating, and some choose a life of solitude. And every once in a while, you have the random female that wants to rip his heart out... and does. Figuratively and literally. This website does not endorse either one... It's amazing what you can learn in a fifteen minute conversation. And for the bee enthusiasts out there, forgive me if I over generalized or got some of my facts incorrect. It was only fifteen minutes.... Life After the Book Launch Busy. Really busy. Sadly, not in the direction I would like, but I've been too busy. I am a hairstylist in all the hours that I can't get away to focus on writing or publicizing what I have written. And we have been in the depths of "holiday season" since I had my original book launch on November 3rd. Which means hours and hours of standing behind the chair making everyone beautiful for their family gatherings, which I am happy to do, mind you, however, not a lot of time has been spent getting the book out to the public. No book signings have been added to my calendar, no speaking engagements have been reserved for the new year, book sales are slow, writing the next book is even slower. And I thought writing the book was the hard part! Since I do not have the support of a major publishing company to put my name out there and book events for me, I am on my own. It seemed like a brilliant time to release a book so I could catch the windfall of Christmas gift-giving, and I still think its a great opportunity, but I've really dropped the ball at getting it out there. There is still so much I need to learn. On a positive note, I've been getting a lot of positive feedback by those who have read Captive Heart!! The reviews on Amazon.com are good and people who take the time out of their day to come and talk to me tell me that they have enjoyed it. It warms my heart. I am so flattered by the response and inspired to keep moving forward. Luckily nothing has been said about keeping my day job or go live under a rock... I find that encouraging! I've been so busy earning my paycheck that I haven't had time to get away and travel (which is when I do my best writing and visit my grandbabies). So, I need to shift up my priorities and get busy getting Elizabeth Bourgeret on everyone's radar! So I can in turn, set down the scissors and pick up the pen! I could really use your help if you wouldn't mind. If you participate in any book clubs and need a guest author... it could be me. If you blog on-line and could drop the name of Captive Heart or the author (me!)... awesome. If you could recommend this website or even my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/EBourgeret)... so grateful. If you could stop by your local bookstore and ask them to carry Captive Heart... sweet! If anyone would like to invite me to speak at their church or small groups and allow me to sell books there, I would greatly appreciate it. If you have read Captive Heart and could give it a review on Amazon... oh...it would help so much! It's so easy to get distracted and run out of time for everything, but I'm trying. As if my plate isn't already spilling over, I am working on a few new projects. (As I am told to get something else out to the public while there is momentum - even a small amount!) I am excited about these, and by telling you about them here, in advance, it holds me accountable. So now I HAVE to write them! First, there is a new fiction romance coming called Waiting for the Sun. It's about a woman that was thrown into a divorcee life so she turns her darkest hour around to start a new life and opens her home to foster children. I am really excited about this story and there are some twists and turns that I hope will get you excited about it too! It holds the opportunity to become part of a series. I hope that it will be released in Spring of 2014. Second, there's a small, fun non-fiction book called Pillow Talk. It offers fun ways to get to know your significant other a little more or to develop a budding relationship to the next level. That looks to be the next item out, with any luck this Spring or early Summer. And finally, an untitled non-fiction work all about love. The ups and downs, the pleasure of it and the pains, the wholeness of it and the emptiness. I have been working and researching this one for quite some time and am really working hard to put it together into an awesome manuscript. Love. It's our common denominator. Everyone has felt it in some way or another. This book will touch on many aspects of the most famous of emotions. I am hoping that this book will also launch into a series of speaking engagements. Love. What a great subject to write about! Don't you think? I have NO idea when I'll get finished with this one. It's a doozy! Well, there you have it. Insight into the mind of Elizabeth. Scary, I know. But I am so happy that you are here with me and helping me stay balanced and keep a forward momentum. I am happy to get your e-mails (elizabeth@dctmedia.com) and comments here and on Facebook! Keep them coming! I do hope you are enjoying your holiday season and are taking some time out for you and your family. I'm one to talk, I know, but believe me, I may let my writing and promoting slip, but my family is always on the top of my list! Until next time! Buy my book! (See? I'm promoting...) |
Follow Elizabeth on Facebook!Archives
April 2024
Categories
All
|